Diary of a Diabetic

Dear Type 1 Diabetes,

You have been my shadow for the past 16 years and 9 months. For the most part, you walk behind me, plodding along and occasionally reminding me that you are there. But sometimes, you walk in front, blocking my view and making it difficult for me to get around you.

Someone once told me that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert on something. Well, that should mean that I have been an expert on you for the last 5751.8 days so why at times, do I feel like I don’t know you at all?

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You’re an impossible friend but we are stuck together for life. I’m unwillingly committed to you in this toxic relationship. Your Libra manner changes so frequently and sporadically and as much as I try and I follow the formula that so many people in the white coats have told me about you, I simply cannot guess your next move.

You’re an impossible friend but we are stuck together for life.

Sure, the honeymoon period wasn’t so bad, but that was years ago and the somewhat fun stuff is now just a part of our normal day together. The ups and the downs, your uninvited appearance surprising me a the worst of times, the constant fighting when all I am trying to do is make you happy and worst of all, the times that I have to explain myself to others because of you. It’s exhausting and embarrassing and I wish you would just learn how to look after yourself.

How many more years of couples counselling will we need before we can live together harmoniously? Will there be a day when we can finally break up?

When wanting to end a toxic relationship, you’re told to set boundaries, be clear about what you want and step away. I feel so trapped knowing that even if I wished for it with my whole heart, I could never walk away from you.

Dear diabetic shadow, will there ever be a day that you walk beside me?

Miranda Daisy
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